


Cooking is Love Made Visible

by The_Inebriated_Literary_Virtuoso



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Baker AU, Baker Hanzo, Baker Jesse McCree, Bakery AU, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Romance, Trans Jesse McCree, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-04-24 11:44:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19172614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Inebriated_Literary_Virtuoso/pseuds/The_Inebriated_Literary_Virtuoso
Summary: When Jack Morrison meets Jesse McCree he's a wild young man with a secret talent for baking. In Los Angeles, in a small bakery, Jack Morrison falls in love, bakes a few cakes, kneads a few breads, wins a baking competition, and realizes that love is a lot closer than he thinks. Not necessarily in that order.(listen this is a bakers au because i wanted it and if you want something done you gotta do it yourself)





	1. Where Laughter is Brightest Food Is Best

**_“Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.” -Harriet van Horne_ **

 

* * *

 

Jack flips on the lights to the back room quietly. He’s already got his apron around his waist as he pulls the ingredients from the walk-in. The room is cool, just the right temperature for the bread he’s going to start on. He loves the methodical way he moves from the front of house to the back, looking over orders, doing a checklist for the day, scribbling his bake-offs, and everything else that needs to get done. He starts with the breads. Today it’s Baguettes and Challah bread topped with sesame seeds. He thinks of bagels, with poppyseed, or maybe cheddar, the possibilities are endless. He pulls out the starters from yesterday, taking a deep smell. They’ve had time to set, to mingle, the smell of the incorporated gluten that’s had time to ferment makes him let out a satisfying sigh.  _Perfect_.

He kneads, ten minutes for baguettes, no less. Seven minutes for Challah. He’s elbows deep in the bagel rolling when he hears someone.

“Mr. Morrison! Good morning to you!” Hana Song is skipping through the door. She’s carrying iced coffees and pastries. Jack is unimpressed.

“Good morning, Hana. You know you work at a bakery, right?” He’s crossing his arms to give the impression of being strict, but they both know him for what he is. A former military commander with a knack for baking sweets. Nothing about him seems to intimidate her anymore.

She offers an iced coffee to him, which he takes, of course. She laughs a light laugh.

“I know, but there’s no need to make more work for you. Just enjoy it!” She’s a young girl, working here and going to school when she isn’t here. She’s famous for streaming but loves to work the front of house for Jack, keeps a surprisingly tight ship. She’s good at telling him when it’s time to go home but she’s also good for morale and publicity. 

“Fine, but it’s not more work. You know I don’t mind doing it.”

He eyes the crispy  _Pain Au Chocolat_  and when he bites into it it’s still warm, soft inside but with the crunchy exterior. He groans.  _So good._

She laughs as she opens the register and preps the front of house for opening.

“Glad you like it, old man.”

He’s back to work soon and when the bakery opens at eight o’clock he’s been making pastries for four hours. Hana and Lena have the morning rush locked down. They also have a new employee Jack cleared them to hire. She’s a med school student, Angela is bright, calm, and more importantly, organized. With the three of them working on the slew of people coming in and out, screaming children, and more importantly angry people in a rush, he can stay in the back, baking. He’s made all the scones and bread for the day. He’s cutting cakes for custom orders when Angela comes to the back.

“Jack, I’m not sure what’s happening, but we might need your help?” She says it calmly, but phrases it as a question. Jack takes his apron off, then makes sure he looks for the most part presentable. Usually these customers are the worst. They ask for him when they doubt his worker’s ability to be reasonable. He has to be nice, but he hates dealing with these people. Customers are always right, over his dead body.

When he goes to the front of house there’s a tall, built man and a teenager who seems overly enthused, and if Jack wasn’t used to teens he’d assume this one was trying to fight from the way he thrashes against the taller man.

“What seems to be the problem here?” Jack is behind the counter but now that he has a clear view of the two he notices the boy first. He’s angry, a scowl seemingly etched into his youthful face. He is wearing a cowboy hat, flannel, and cowboy boots. Jack would find him amusing if he wasn’t thrashing against the vice grip the taller man has on him. When Jack sees the taller man he almost drops his jaw. The man is  _gorgeous_ , ample muscles, hair that’s mussed and curly, along with cheekbones that could cut glass. He’s more amused than angry, unlike the kid next to him, which is his only signal that he can calm down.

The beautiful man lets go of the boy, almost thrusting him into the glass display.

“Tell ‘im.” He says curtly, but Jack finds the baritone to be just as beautiful as the rest of the man.

The boy scowls and holds up a piece of paper. It’s the advertisement that Jack had posted all around town. He was looking for help, someone to help him with all the baking that needs to be done now that the bakery is getting more popular. He’s tired of not having a life outside of the bakery, but mostly Lena forced him.

“I’m here about the baker’s position.” Jack has had Michelin Starred pastry professionals bother him. He’s seen so many people come through the door looking for a job, it’s given him a headache. He can’t seem to find someone who fits the bakery just right. He thinks about how this kid clearly expects to be rejected, he’s always been a contrarian.

“First, what’s your name? Got any experience?” Jack asks him. He gives the kid a stare he hopes is encouraging.

He looks surprised by the response, probably expects Jack to tell him to get lost.

“I-uh… name’s Jesse McCree. I don’t got a lick of experience.”

He is shifting eyes at the taller man, who he clearly feels uneasy about. Jack motions for the kid to follow him to the back. The gorgeous man makes a motion to follow as well when Jack holds up his hand.

“Not you, just the kid.” Jack asserts. The man grins but Jack ignores the way his stomach flips.

Jesse McCree follows him. When they’re in the back, wooden tables strewn with flour and cakes on a stainless steel work surface as well Jesse looks around in wonder.

“Listen, kid, I don’t know who that is-”

“That’s my dad,” Jesse interrupts, “Gabe made me come here. Wants me to try things out.”

Jack looks at him. “Okay, so first piece of advice kid, don’t try so hard to be a hard ass. If you’re gonna work here, you gotta have the confidence to be good at what you do.”

Jesse’s eyes widen. “You’re letting me work here?”

Jack smiles. “That depends on your answer to this question: why do you want to work here?”

Jesse blushes and looks away. He doesn’t talk immediately, Jack can understand that. A lot of teenage boys spend a lot of time pretending to be something they’re not. Masculinity isn’t so fragile for Jack, he knows being gay was already a strike against him, being a pastry chef wasn’t the ideal career for most men in culinary. Jack understands breaking the conventions, he can’t begin to understand what that must mean for a young boy who is also a person of color. Jack just waits for him to speak.

“‘Fore Gabe, my mama used ta say bakin’ had a way of makin’ the world all right. There wasn't a single problem you couldn't solve with a good pie and a smile. She said patience and technique and discipline made for some of life’s most important qualities. I walk by this here bakery on my way to school everyday and I’ve always wanted to make cakes like mama used to make. Damn beautiful cakes y’all have here.”

Jack smiles widely at him. The passion is there, screw Michelin Stars, this kid clearly wants to be a baker, and Jack needs the help.

“Okay, kid, one last thing,” Jesse looks at him hopefully, “You gotta bake something.”

Jesse looks terrified and Jack chuckles, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s all right. Come back, say, in three days, have a recipe, and when you bake it we’ll see if you’ve got the job. By the way, name’s Jack. Jack Morrison.”

For the first time ever, Jesse beams at him. A bright, open, sloppy mess of a smile. Jack leads him out to the front of house as he babbles.

“I-I… Uhh-uh. Thank ya, Mr. Morrison! I’ll be sure not ta let ya down!”

Jack chuckles as he bags two pepperoni scones and hands them to Jesse. “Don’t thank me, just find a recipe. Make sure you love it, then show me what you can do.”

Jesse takes the scones, running outside. “Thanks again,” he looks at Gabe, “See ya outside, Pa.”

Gabe turns to Jack. “Thanks for everything. Getting him to admit to wanting to interview here was liking pulling teeth.”

Jack smiles at him. “It’s fine, I get it. Being a boy, baking, it doesn’t really go together and I can’t imagine it matches the cowboy look too much.”

Gabriel snorts. “You’re telling me. Still, thanks for giving him a shot. A lot of people wouldn’t.”

Before he has time to control it he’s blurting out, “Maybe having an intimidating man standing behind him kind of puts them off.”

Gabe chuckles, clearly not offended by the statement. “Thanks again, I appreciate everything.” He winks at Jack as he walks out of the bakery.

The girls immediately swarm him.

“Who was that?” Hana asks.

“Looks like someone’s got the love bug, luv!” Lena laughs.

Angela is restocking and looks over. “What did they want?”

Jack turns to them. “Looks like I found the help I need.”

Lena cheers. “That’s great!”

Jack walks to the back, trying not to think about hazel eyes or how they winked at him.

 

Three days later finds Jesse McCree standing in the middle of the kitchen, flour is covering his apron, he looks like he’s sweating bullets, but in front of Jack is arguably one of the most beautiful pastries he’s ever seen.

“It’sa Peach and vanilla entremet.”

Jack tastes it, it’s fucking delicious. But there’s something insincere about this. The beautiful vanilla bean carefully placed on top or the way that the layers look like they could be separated with a precision cut. It’s all amazing, but somehow it seems like it isn’t Jesse, isn’t the wily boy who wears a cowboy hat and speaks with a southern twang. He looks over at Jesse watching for his reaction. Jack picks up the entremet and chucks it into the trash. He hears Jesse gasp behind him, when he turns around Jesse looks crestfallen.

Jack shakes his head. “It was amazing,” Jesse sputters, “but that’s not what you’re here for. You got passion, kid. Entremets are fine and dandy but you don’t strike me as the kind of guy who eats one. When I said make a dessert you like I meant it. I don’t care how ugly it looks, you can work on that, it’s gotta have heart.”

Jesse looks at him as though he’s trying to hide his frustration but also his sadness that Jack didn’t like the cake. He looks like this for a few seconds, then he has a glint in his eyes. This Jack knows very well, it’s the look of someone out to prove everyone wrong.

He immediately sets to work, Jack leaves him to it, helping the front of house.

“Jack.” Jesse calls after him an hour and a half later. When Jack goes to the back, the counters are clean, everything organized and sitting on the wooden work bench is what Jack could only describe as the most beautiful apple pie he’s ever seen. The crimping is perfect, the crust looks like something out of a movie, puffed, golden, and covered in sugar.

Jack grins, clapping Jesse on the back before even tasting it. He can tell this will be different, this pie looks like he loved baking it, every moment.

He cuts a piece, reveling in the way the crust cracks and crunches under the knife. When he takes a bite, immediately he is hit with flavors of nutmeg, cloves, cinnamon, lemon juice, and when he looks closely he can see zest in the pie. It reminds him of home, reminds him of the farm where he grew up. It reminds him of his mother, lovely blonde and blue eyed, her smiles and gentle touches and pies in the summer evening on the porch.

He opens his eyes and Jesse is looking at him expectantly. He groans. “Kid, I knew betting on you was a good idea. This is the best pie I’ve ever had.”

Jesse breaks out into a beaming smile. Jack turns around. “Lena, Angela, Hana! Get over here and try this pie!”

“Ooh, pie!” Hana cheers.

They all get a slice and as they’re taking the first bite Jack waves toward Jesse.

“Everyone, this is our new baker, Jesse McCree, and this is his pie. Beautiful isn’t it?”

Lena’s eyes widen. “This is the best pie I’ve ever had!”

Angela turns to Jesse seriously. “Jesse, if not for the fact I am already spoken for, I would offer you my hand in marriage for this pie. This is  _marvelous_.”

Hana is chewing loudly, already moved onto her second slice. Through the food in her mouth they can make out, “This was great! Thanks for making it!”

She’s stolen the pie, sequestered it to a hidden nook where they all know she will polish off half of it before returning.

Jesse blushes at all the compliments. “Well shucks, thank y’all for the kind words.”

Lena and Angela go back to stocking up now that there’s a slow period. Jack turns to him.

“See what I mean, Jesse? You gotta follow your gut. Frills and fancy aren’t always what’s best. That pie of yours is a work of art. Let’s get you making more of that.”

Jesse looks so prideful Jack would think he’s getting an inflated sense of self.

Jack pulls on his apron. “Okay, ready to start?”

Jesse just grins.

  
  


Despite his first impression of a gangly, gruff, angry teen, McCree is surprisingly sweet. He talks with Hana and Lena before his shifts, always smiles and winks. He must get that from his father. When Angela turns up some days, walking around like the dead, Jack notices that she disappears for a few hours, while Jesse flows from back of house to the front, helping as much as he can. When she emerges a few hours later, eyes no longer so dark, she gives him an appreciative look. He waves it off with a good natured smile. He’s a charmer, Jack knows that much. And just as charming as he is, he’s a great baker. He picks up the ropes in no time. By the time he does his quarterly reviews he’s shocked to realize that Jesse has only been here for four months. It feels like the bakery wouldn’t be what it is without him.

Today, the start of Fall, October, has Jesse walking in with his father. Gabriel Reyes is still just as handsome as the first day Jack laid eyes on him, and if not for how he considers himself to be a mentor that Jesse trusts, he might have done something about it. For now, Jack admires from afar in the hopes that maybe one day the timing will be right.

“Heya, Jack! Heya, Lena!” Jesse greets as he heads to the back, gearing up for his shift. Gabe lingers, staring at Jack.

Lena is about to approach him when Jack interjects. “Can I help you?”

Gabe smirks, as though he knows something Jack doesn’t. “Sure. What do you recommend?”

Jack looks at everything they offer. “Hmmm. Depends on what you prefer. Salty or sweet.”

Gabe doesn’t break his eye contact. “Definitely prefer the sweet ones.”

Jack blushes, looking away. He picks up something he hopes Gabriel will like. It’s a dark chocolate ganache tart with orange marmalade and raspberries.

“This one is sweet, but it’s also got a bite, it’s a bit bitter.”

Gabriel looks like he’s holding in a laugh. “Just like me. Thanks, boy scout. How much do I owe you?”

Jack waves it off. “Nothing. Jesse’s been a great help around here. We’re lucky you brought him in.”

Before Gabe can respond Jesse responds from the kitchen.

_ “Oye! Hemos hablado de esto! No coqueteas con mi jefe!” _

Whatever he says makes Gabriel throw his head back and laugh. Jack tries to ignore the expanse of his neck that’s exposed and how he’d love to plant gentle kisses there.

_ “Él está ofreciendo pasteles, quien no coqueteaban con esos ojos tan azules?” _

Jesse groans. “Ugh, more than I need to know. Get out of here, Pa.”

Gabriel chuckles, looking at Jack, shrugging his shoulders. “You heard the kid, guess I gotta bounce. See you later, Morrison.”

Lena looks over at Jesse as soon as Gabriel is out of the door. “Jesse, luv, what did you say? I can’t speak spanish.”

Jesse just shakes his head. “My pa is just gross. Ignore ‘im, Lena.”

Lena nods her head and continues to flitter around. Jack goes to the back, Jesse is working on a brioche.

“Sorry about Gabe. He doesn’t know when to stop.” Jesse says softly. Like he’s afraid of some consequence. Jack didn’t realize he hasn’t really told Jesse he’s gay. Everyone else here knew, so he’d kind of glossed over it. He imagines Jesse’s spent a lot of time trying to fight against the people who would feel a need to tell him about his father’s preferences. He opts for a joke, to help alleviate Jesse’s tension.

“If I got mad at all the inappropriate flirting I think my past partners might have a lot to answer to.”

Jesse turns to him quickly, brioche momentarily forgotten. There’s a moment where it’s clear he’s processing it. He turns back to the brioche as Jack starts his own work.

“When?” Jesse asks softly.

Jack looks up. “What?”

Jesse shifts nervously. “When did ya realize ya were into men?”

Jack feels touched by the question. It’s clearly coming from a place Jack recognizes. He sees it in himself and wonders.

“Isn’t this something you should talk to Gabriel about?” He wants to respect their family dynamic. It’s clear Jesse has a lot of respect and admiration for Gabe.

Jesse continues kneading, then transferring dough to pans. He’s flouring the surface for other doughs he’s got ready for the ovens. He snorts.

“Pa isn’t really… I dunno. He’s always been out and proud. Ain’t really much to relate to there.”

In the late nights of cake baking and bread kneading when the orders are backed up and Jesse stays to help him, where the bakery is dark save for the lights in the kitchen, he remembers Jesse explaining the dynamic they had. Jesse’s mother died, he got caught up in gangs, Gabriel Reyes offered him a bed to sleep on or prison. Jesse’s lived his whole life hiding himself away for survival. Gabriel Reyes fought his way to the top of his career, damn the consequences of being out and proud. He’s the kind of man who lets everyone know what they’re getting when they see him. He’s different. Jesse obviously feels some sort of kinship to Jack’s own story of coming out. Bloomington, Indiana didn’t offer a lot in terms of being out and proud. The military didn’t either. Jack spent most of his relationship with Vincent in the closet. He’s out now, but not in the way where he mentions it. He lets others draw their own conclusions, doesn’t correct them, and when they have problems, he’s ready to defend himself. He wants to live a peaceful life, no need for trouble. He has to imagine after seeing the kind of stuff a kid should never see Jesse feels the same. He opts to give Jesse an honest answer.

“It didn’t happen like most people expect it. I didn’t fall in love with someone straight. I didn’t really fall in love at all. It was a fact of life. Something I couldn’t change. The grass is green, the moon moves the tides, I’m gay. Can’t fight it, and you shouldn’t.”

Jesse nods. He looks contemplative. “Thanks, Jack, for everything.”

Jack sighs, looking him in the eyes. “Listen, Jesse, this profession, don’t listen to what other people say. You’re a hell of a chef, a good kid to boot, and if you bake and you’re gay that doesn’t make you prissy. You can’t listen to what people say. They always got a lot to say.”

Jesse cracks a small smile. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

For a few minutes there’s the silence and the sound of dough slapping the surface until Jesse speaks again.

“You won’t tell ‘im, will ya?”

Jack knows he’s talking about Gabe. He also knows Jesse has to be weighing the pros and cons. Jack’s come to know him pretty well and he imagines Jesse’s hoping that maybe this isn’t what it is. That maybe he can turn the clock and reverse whatever this is that he thinks is happening. It’s a trait he’s learned for survival. Gabriel might have taken the boy out of the jungle but you can’t tame something wild when it’s only ever known to be wild. Jack gives him a soft, understanding look.

“Of course, Jesse. Besides I don’t know your father that well.”

Jesse snorts like he knows something Jack doesn’t.

  
  


A few weeks later Jesse is waving a piece of paper in front of his face.

“Jack! Come on! We’d be perfect for it! A dream team! And the bakery could use that extra cash.” The piece of paper in question is a baking competition flyer. The reward is ten thousand dollars. Gabe has his arms crossed as they sit in the cafe area of the bakery. He’s looking between Jack and Jesse.

Jack shakes his head. “Jesse, I’m not sure about it. Besides you still have a lot to learn.”

Jesse wavers in his excitement. “You said I was getting better though.”

Jack shakes his head. “This doesn’t mean you’re bad, Jesse. I just can’t imagine you’re ready for this. These competitions, they’re stressful.”

Jesse slams his fist on the table. He’s not angry but clearly enthused. “Dammit, Jack. I’m ready fer this! I swear on Mama’s grave. We could do this!”

Jack looks over at Gabriel who’s been quiet this whole time. Jack raises an eyebrow to an unspoken question, Gabriel puts his hands up in surrender.

“Don’t look at me. I’m a magazine editor. Don’t know shit about baking.”

Jack snorts. “I doubt that. Jesse is too talented to be an amateur.”

Gabe smirks. “It might be a food editorial, but anyway, between you and me,” he leans forward, conspiratorially, “kid here’s already set on this competition, with or without you. So I suggest you take the offer. With Jesse on your team you can’t lose.”

Jesse looks over at his dad. His eyes are glistening and he has a happy look on his face. Gabriel looks over at him, smiling softer now.

“Come on, kid. You had to know that I knew you’d have talent. You’re amazing, always have been.”

It’s clear that Gabriel isn’t the kind of man who gives out praise often, but it’s even more clear how much Jesse appreciates it.

“Thanks, Pa.”

Gabriel and Jesse turn to Jack, matching brown eyes, soft, and hopeful looks.

“Whaddaya say, Jack? Let’s be in the competition!”

Jack groans but takes the flyer, “Let’s bake then.”

Jesse cheers while Gabriel grins.

“Perfect! Pa, can Jack come over fer dinner? We can talk strategy tonight!” Jesse asks.

Gabriel puts up a hand. “Hold up, Jess. We don’t know if Jack already has plans, like a date or a meeting or something.”

Jack blushes, shaking his head. “Nope, none of that. I can definitely come over for dinner.”

Gabriel grins at him. “What? No hot date tonight, Blondie?”

Jack snorts. “Turns out opening a business and running it by yourself isn’t a great way to stay social.”

Jesse groans from beside them. “Enough old man flirting. Let’s get to work, Jack.”

Jack laughs, turning to Gabriel. “You heard the boss, I guess I gotta get back to work.”

Gabriel has a glint in his eyes, like it’s an inside joke. “Kid’s a hell of a boss, practically a slavedriver. Anyway, I’ll be off, lunch is almost over for me anyway.”

But that’s exactly what it is between them, an inside joke. They both understand Jesse, they love him for who he is. They’re brought together for this kid who wants the best for them both. Jack finds himself giving Gabriel a smile as he gets up to leave. For a moment it felt very familial. Like having lunch with his partner and their son. He knows he’s jumping the gun, too quick too fast even if it’s been months and even if Gabriel isn’t technically his. But Jesse is the perfect employee and even if he has a sailor’s mouth and a smoking habit he thinks they don’t know about, he’s damn near perfect. A son Jack never had because he was busy with life, and now that he’s finally stepped back, finally took a look at his life, he realizes it’s a bit late. He’s gone white, he’s nearly forty, and only has a business to show for it. Jesse might be the closest thing to a son he’ll ever have. Gabriel is… well, he’s everything Jack thought he’d want when he was young. He’s handsome, witty, and wicked sharp. This lunch, the ones they’ve been having together for a few weeks now, blur the line of what Jack isn’t and is allowed to do. Jesse gives him trust, and Jack isn’t entirely sure he disapproves of the relationship, he’s just too scared to ask, which is ridiculous. He shouldn’t be scared of a teenage wannabe cowboy.

He waves goodbye to them as he leaves. Jesse frowns at Jack who looks at him uneasily.

“What?”

Jesse glares at him like this is an interrogation. “You wanna bone my pa.”

Jack is surprised by the frankness, but also how this kid, a foot smaller than him, gangly as all hell and with a cowboy hat that is definitely against Food Safety regulations, seems to almost stand as tall as Jack in his convictions. He lies to himself as much as the lie he tells Jesse.

“Don’t worry, Jesse. It’s nothing like that.”

Jesse snorts, pulling on his apron. “Sure it ain’t. A spade is a spade no matter what you wanna call it.”

After work Jesse and Jack make their way to Jesse’s house in Jack’s car. It’s a quiet ride, when they pull up to the house. It’s a quaint looking thing, almost too normal for the two people Jack knows with personalities larger than life who reside in it. It’s pastel blue, with a red door. Jesse opens the door only for Jack to immediately be greeted by a black retriever. The dog is jumping, excited, when Jack’s instincts kick in. He’s immediately on the floor, playing with the dog. Jesse laughs.

“That there is Reaper, ain’t never hurt a fly, but I’m glad he’s taken a shine ta ya. Pa! We’re home!”

Jack is still petting the dog when Gabriel emerges from what must be the kitchen based on the smells emanating from it. He’s wearing an apron, a vision if Jack ever saw one. He smiles at them. Jack feels like he’s hallucinating, a dream of a dog, a son, and the perfect husband standing over them as they arrive home. He blinks and the feeling is suddenly gone, like a mirage.

“I see you met Reaper. Sorry about him, he gets excited easily.”

Jack shrugs. “It’s fine. Had dogs on the farm growing up. He’s a great dog.”

Jesse is putting up his hat, and taking off his coat. “What’s fer dinner?”

Gabe seems to remember that something is on the stove and rushes to the kitchen. Jesse follows behind easily, motioning for Jack to follow. The house itself is tastefully decorated, simple designs obviously inspired by a latin culture they're close to. In the kitchen there are herbs hanging by the window, a large island, and Gabriel is cooking. The kitchen is filled in yellow light, warm, inviting, a complete contradiction to the dark clothes Gabriel wears and the sharp personality he portrays to Jack. It’s an updated kitchen, granite with stainless steel appliances, the perfect kitchen, a dream kitchen like the one Jack’s always wanted. As though Gabriel couldn’t be more perfect.

“Sorry, I’m making scallops, sauteed just like you like.”

Jesse cheers. “With the roasted Kale and corn ragu?”

Gabe lifts a lid to a pot, which immediately brings the smells wafting even more. Jesse groans. Jack is staring at him like he’s grown a second head.  _Corn Ragu? Scallops? Roasted Kale?_  Jesse ate a chocolate chip muffin off the  _floor_  two days ago.

Jack tells him as much and Gabe and Jesse chuckle.

“A man can appreciate a floor muffin and corn ragu. ‘Sides Gabe’s food is the best, be a darn shame to waste it.”

Gabe smiles at him. “Yeah yeah, set the table, enough talk.”

Jesse swipes some bread and takes plates, setting them next to Gabe on the counter while encouraging Jack to sit. When dinner is served it looks as beautiful as it tastes. Jack bites into the scallops, immediately groaning when they slide down his throat with ease. They fall apart, cooked just right, clearly Gabe knows what he’s doing, and they’re seasoned so well.

Jesse is giving him a smile. “Good, right?”

Jack looks between them. “This is the best meal I’ve had in ages.”

Gabe snorts. “Well it beats MREs.”

Jack chuckles. “Got that right.”

While they eat Jesse begins. “Okay, we got two months before the competition. There’ll be twelve prelims and then the finals are two bakers against two bakers. Word on the street is that Shimada Brothers Baking Company is gunnin’ for top spot. I say we got a fine chance a beatin’ ‘em.”

Jack furrows his eyebrows. “Shimada? Like the brothers who, between the two of them, have six Michelin Stars?”

Jesse snorts. “Ain’t no skin off my hide. You said yourself, Jack, it ain’t about the Michelin Stars.”

Jack looks at him. “When did you become the voice of reason?”

Jesse snorts, he looks like his father when he does that. “Who else is gonna keep yer sorry ass from sleeping under the workbench?”

They all chuckle, for a moment Jack seems to forget that he’s this kid’s boss, that he has an almost embarrassing crush on said mentee’s adoptive father. There’s just this meal and their smiles. He forgot what it was like to be around others, to be with people. To have family. But they’re laughing at something Jack said, and a light blooms inside Jack’s chest. It feels real, feels like the kind of loving family he always wanted. Too busy doing other things. But now that he’s not rushing to do all the things he wanted to do to prove everyone wrong, he wants this family, wants something to come home to. For now he’s satisfied with Gabriel throwing his head back in a full laugh, his whole body shaking. After dinner Jesse turns in early, telling Jack he’s going to be at work early so he can practice for the first preliminary round in three weeks.

Jack watches him walk up the stairs to his bedroom, then he turns to Gabe, who is standing by the door.

“You ever think that kid sleeps?”

Gabe laughs quietly. “If he does, I’d never know.”

Jack sighs contentedly, walking over to pull on his coat. “He’s good though, one of the best I’ve ever seen. And not just at baking. He’s a good kid. You did right by him.”

Gabe nods. “I tried my best. It wasn’t always easy. You saw him before, he’s wiley.”

Jack looks at him. “It was your best. That kid has a heart of gold, never would expect it with his hat and his language.”

He says it as he chuckles. In the short time Jesse’s worked at the bakery Jack has taken to him. Jesse, really deep down, is a kid who believes in the best in people, regardless of everything and everyone trying to prove him wrong.

Gabe sighs. “Yeah. I just… I wonder if sometimes I should have done a few things differently. He’s closed off, always has been.”

Jack shrugs a bit. “You know how they are at that age, he’ll grow out of it.”

Gabe fidgets uncharacteristically. “No, not with you, Morrison. He’s  _open_  with you. Never seen anything like it, the day he comes home from the bakery he’s talking a mile a minute, this goofy grin on his face. He’s damn near tears and he just wants to prove to you that he can  _do it._

“Never in my damn life have I seen that kid so damn  _happy._ ” Gabe says it but he’s staring up the walls at the photos of him with Jesse. There’s photos of Gabriel in dress blues with a severe look on his face while he stands at parade rest. The desert behind them, Jesse looks uncomfortable, but mostly he’s looking up at Gabe, proud eyes like Gabriel hung the stars. There’s other ones, a trip to Mexico, it looks like, Jesse is grinning so wide Jack wonders what happened to that kid, the one who smiles and laughs freely.

Jack realizes with a start that he’s on his way to finding that boy, it’s been a long road, but most days Jesse makes progress unseen. There’s ones of Jesse and Gabriel on Halloween, costumes decked out, there’s Christmases with ugly sweaters. The one that Jack sees that stands out the most is the one right by the door. Gabe has his patent smirk but next to him is a smaller Jesse. This Jesse looks livid, he has black eyes and tons of bruises. He’s wearing a leather jacket with the sleeves cut off and a yellow bandana. Jack doesn’t need Gabriel to tell him what this is, it’s the first photo he ever took with Jesse. Even in the other photos they look like the perfect father and son, something speaks about how much they get along, respect each other, love each other. He knows that Gabe would give his son the world on a platter if he asked. Jack imagines that Gabe wanted to give Jesse space. He gave him so much space he created a distance Jesse isn’t sure how to cross. Jack has to imagine that Gabriel isn’t sure how to cross it anymore either.

Jack looks sheepish. “I’m giving Jesse the thing he’s always dreamed of, he’s obviously going to gravitate toward that. Plus, magazines are fine, but sometimes he’s just looking for a connection, like-minded people. He’s a simple boy, Gabe.”

Gabe pauses, giving him a look, he’s searching Jack’s eyes. He’s suddenly aware that they’re very close. “What heaven did you fall from, Morrison?”

Jack chuckles, backing up. He knows this is a bad idea. Jesse gave him his trust, he can’t betray that but sleeping with his father. Besides, Gabe is slowing becoming one of Jack’s best friends. They have lunches with Jesse, coffee in the morning, and the fleeting moments where Jack is convinced that this could be more.

“Not sure what you mean. I’m just a man trying to bake a few cakes.”

Gabe seems to take his out, thankfully, and chuckles good naturedly. “Not if Jesse has anything to say about it. He’s got big plans for you.”

“And doesn’t that just terrify me.” Jack lets out a small laugh as he motions to the door. He’s halfway through the doorframe when Gabe grabs his wrist. The contact feels almost like a brand, his calloused hands are tender when they reach for him.

“Hey, boy scout,” Jack turns to see hazel eyes that are almost golden in the soft glow of the doorway, “thanks again. For looking after my kid. I mean it.”

Jack nods wordlessly. There are no words to say. Jesse is a gift, obviously talented, and he can’t help but find himself trying to help a boy he sees himself in. They’re completely different but somehow the same.

As Gabe closes the door, Jack turns to give him a quick bit of advice.

“Hey, Gabriel?”

“Yeah?”

Jack levels him with a sincere look. “Bake a damn cake with the kid. He just wants quality time.”

Gabe chuckles as he shuts the door. “Goodnight, blondie.”

Gabriel’s beautiful laugh and hazel eyes filled with mirth follow Jack all the way home.

 

After that night Gabriel seems to come to the bakery a lot more, almost as though he’s been avoiding it before that night. When Jesse comes in, cheery as always, Gabriel is following closely behind him with two coffees. He offers one to Jack, who takes it with deep appreciation but also a questioning look to which Gabe just shrugs.

“To hold you over, can’t imagine being up since four A.M. leaves you with time to get coffee.”

Jack smiles at him and offers him a pastry. He accepts it with gratitude. This time it’s a blondie. The joke is not lost on Jack.

Gabe chuckles when Jack hands it to him. “A blondie from a blondie. Careful there, Morrison, I might just start falling in love with these pastries.”

Jack softly smiles at him. “That wouldn’t be so bad.”

Gabe bites into it, groaning in a way that has Jack blushing. “Sunshine, these are perfect.”

“They’re your son’s recipe.”

Gabe calls out to Jesse who is tying his apron on, checklist in hand. “Nice job, kid, if only you baked like this at home.”

Jesse chuckles. “You always told me if you’re good at something you don’t do it for free.”

Beside them Hana laughs. Gabe looks at Jack once more.

“Maybe I can get you to bake something special for me. I guess I’ll be off, blondie,” he waves the hand occupied with the pastry, “thanks again.”

When Jack heads to the back of house Jesse is already writing on their dry erase board. Instead of the bake-offs he’s got so many ideas written out it makes Jack’s head spin. He turns around to regard Jack, who hopes that the blush on his cheeks isn’t obvious.

“You’re hopeless, Jack.”

Jack sputters. “What do you mean?”

Jesse snorts, but turns around, the conversation regarding Jack is clearly over, which means that Jack has to look at all the writing on the board.

“Okay, so, as you can see, I got some ideas.”

Jack looks at them, suddenly overwhelmed. “Uhh. . .”

Jesse turns to him, a determined look in his eyes. “It’s gotta be perfect, Jack. We gotta make it to the finals.”

Jack nods. “Yeah, but this all seems… a bit much.”

Jesse scoffs. “What in the hell are we gonna do if we ain’t lookin’ for the best recipes?”

Hana skips into the kitchen, a mischievous grin on her face. “Bet that pie could carry you the first round, cowboy. If you think it’s good enough.”

Jesse smirks at her. “Oh you betcha, Ms. Song. That there recipe is centuries old.”

It’s a challenge if Jack ever saw one, and the way they’re staring at each other is playful. While Jack is deeply amused he also knows that there’s work to be done on the pie.

“Be that as it may, we have to make sure that filling is perfect. We can’t afford mistakes.”

Jesse nods, suddenly serious. It’s so uncharacteristic for him that Jack almost doesn’t believe he’s the same kid. They work for hours, baking was done late yesterday so they had time. There’s four pies sitting out for Lena, Angela, and Hana to try. When they bring them to the front of house there’s a tall, muscular woman with a tattoo under her eye talking to Angela. Angela is smiling dreamily at her when Jesse and Jack walk out with the pies.

“Say, Angie, why don’t you and your gal there try these here pies for us!”

Angela shifts away quickly, but the girl smirks over that them.

“I’d love to. The name’s Fareeha.” She extends her hand for them to shake, but they look sheepishly at the pies in both hands. They put them down on the pastry counter, Jesse smiles at her.

“Well I’ll be damned! You must be the lass Angela’s been talkin’ about.”

Fareeha looks at Angela with an amused glint in her eyes. “Does she talk about me often?”

Angela rolls her eyes but her smile stays in place. “Of course, you must know that.”

Fareeha smiles at her and reaches for the first slice.

Fareeha’s eyes go wide. “My god, this pie! It’s amazing.”

Jack points to Jesse beside him. “That’s all him.”

Fareeha claps him on the back as his smile widens. “You’re truly talented! I see why you’re Angela’s favorite.”

Jesse looks at Angela. “Your favorite?”

Angela gives him a small smile. “You’re talented, cowboy. Everyone can see it.”

  
  


The day of the first preliminaries Jack and Jesse have matching chef’s coats on. They’re white with black trimming, Jesse looks great, hair groomed and his facial hair trimmed. Jack is standing nervously by their station. They’re going through a checklist of all the things they need as Gabe watches them with amusement.

“Break a leg, kid, don’t forget the sugar.”

Jesse looks up as though he hadn’t thought of the possibility that he might forget an ingredient. For the past three weeks he’s been surprisingly militant. Everyday they bake and once that’s done they spend an hour workshopping the pie to perfection. It’s been Jack who, for the first time since he’s opened the bakery, had to convince Jesse to step away from the kitchen. Gabriel is always home before them, with dinner on the table, ready to listen to Jesse talk about all the things he wants to fix and change and make better. Right now Gabriel is working him up, an amused look on his face. Jack would find it amusing if he wasn’t also in the same boat with Jesse. But there’s that feeling again, the one that Jack has to stifle down, the feeling that this is their small family. Jesse and Gabe have supported him through the late nights of workshopping, convinced him that he can do this even if he’s always talked himself out of it. When it gets too late they all fall asleep on the couch, tired but happy. The night before the competition Gabriel covered Jack in a soft afghan on his couch, then woke him up with coffee and a smile. He’d been so beautiful and helpful.

Right now he’s being a pain in Jesse’s ass.

“Pa! If you ain’t gonna help us you go to them there benches and wait for us to start.”

Gabriel gives Jack an incredulous look, Jack chuckles. “My own son, jesus, where did I ever go wrong?”

Jesse pushes him away, but he goes easily, smiling at them both. “Git!”

“Good luck, Jesse. Morrison.”

They quickly set to work, quietly but nimbly working around each other. They know this dance, know how to work around each other but also work with each other. Jack is doing their Mise en Place, Jesse is checking for their equipment, when a green haired boy in a black chef’s coat comes up to them.

“Hey! You’re the new guys Hanzo was telling me about!”

Jesse looks at the young man, Jack just watches them. “Who’re ya?”

He gives them both a good natured smile and reaches out his hand. “I’m Genji. Genji Shimada! We’ll be baking next to you! It’s nice to meet you. We heard loads of good things about your bakery.”

Jesse seems shaken for a moment but Jack shakes the kid’s hand. He seems nice enough. He’s not at all what Jack assumes a Michelin Star chef of his caliber to look like. His hair is so green. “Nice to meet you. This is Jesse McCree and I’m Jack. Jack Morrison.”

Genji balances on the balls of his feet. “I heard your bakery makes some of the best pastries! Maybe we can taste them. I’ve only ever had them once.”

Before Jesse or Jack can say anything someone behind Genji calls him.

“Genji!”

Genji rolls his eyes before turning around. A young man with a matching coat and a barely visible tattoo sleeve is walking up to their table. He has dark hair and dark eyes that look permanently cast in a disapproving glare. He’s currently directing them at Genji Shimada.

There’s a gasp from next to Jack, when he looks over he sees that Jesse’s jaw has nearly dropped. His eyes are wide, but there’s a blush on his cheeks. Jack would know that face anywhere, he smirks.

“Genji, what have I said about talking to the competition?” Hanzo Shimada says harshly.

Genji smiles at him, seemingly unimpressed with Hanzo’s harsh tone. “Relax, brother. I was just getting to know them! Plus you mentioned how much you loved their apple pie the last time I brought you a slice.”

Hanzo stutters, but regains his composure. Jesse finds it in himself to finally speak. He sounds amused, but the charm is turned up. Jack can tell he’s laying it on thick, knows that he’ll try to flirt if he can help it. But he’s not so sure someone like Hanzo Shimada will understand that.

“Glad you liked the pie, darlin’.” Jesse gives Hanzo his most charming grin.

Hanzo turns to the cowboy, fixing him with a glare. “Do not presume to know what I like. I tolerated it. I came here to win, unlike my brother. I have no time to make fanciful conversation.”

He walks off to their station, leaving Genji to sigh in disappointment. “Sorry about him. Hanzo has a weird way of talking to people.”

“I’ll say.” Jesse grumbles.

Genji smiles at them apologetically. “Sorry for him, I hope we get to hang out more! See you after the competition.”

When he walks away they’ve set themselves to the task of preparing their towels, aprons, recipes, organizing and cleaning. Jack smirks after a moment.

“So Hanzo Shimada?”

Jesse snorts. “I wouldn’t touch that unsavory man with a ten foot pole, Jack.”

Jack just nods, lets him believe that Jack believes that. He doesn’t.

Jesse looks over to Gabriel, who is sitting front and center, and turns to Jack with a wicked look. “Besides, I could ask the same about my pa.”

Jack blushes, ignoring the smirk Jesse is wearing. “Point taken.”

The competition itself is stressful, they’re quiet, but focused. Jesse works on the crust, Jack working on the filling. They have time to make ice cream so they make buttermilk cardamom ice cream. The judges are clearly impressed by the elegance and simplicity of making an apple pie, they move onto the next round. Jack and Jesse are cleaning their station when Genji comes over.

“Nice job! Just like I promised, I came to try your food!” He’s got good energy, seemingly never losing the momentum but he’s nice, a good spirit. Jack finds that more often than not a lot of these people are like Hanzo Shimada, too focused on winning, on honor, on being the best. Genji seems like he just does it for the love of it.

Jesse cuts him a slice and scoops some ice cream. Genji is impressed.

“My god! Even better than the one at the bakery. I can’t imagine you can do anything to top it!”

Hanzo has moved to stand behind him, glaring at Jack and Jesse. Jesse looks at him with a leveled stare.

“You’ll find that when I want somethin’ I rarely lose. I got a  _deadeye_  focus.”

Hanzo storms off, huffing and speaking in Japanese. Genji is laughing. He claps Jesse on the back.

“You might just be the perfect person to beat my brother.”

Jesse looks taken aback. “You… don’t want to win?”

Genji shrugs. “Win, lose. It’s all the same to me. I just did this because my brother asked. I’m hoping maybe he realizes there’s more to life than just baking.”

Jesse laughs. “Says the man with three Michelin Stars.”

Genji snorts. “Trust me, it hardly means anything if you’re not happy.”

He walks off, giving Jesse his number so they can talk and hang out, leaving Jack and Jesse to stand there, bewildered at the two brothers.

“I’m not sure what I expected.” Jack says. He likes them, can see that Genji obviously has his heart in the right place. Hanzo might be a piece of work but Jack gets the sense that being the oldest son of one of the most famous sushi chefs in the world couldn’t have been easy, especially if he moved into pastry.

“That Hanzo Shimada is a real piece of work.” Jesse says as he glares after the man.

Gabriel walks up to them, smiling. “Congrats, kid! Knew you could do it.”

Jesse turns to him and smiles, Hanzo Shimada momentarily forgotten. “Thanks, Pa. I’m just glad we got in the top five. We really need a leg up.”

Gabe nods, but mostly he’s smiling. “Well, just focus on today’s victory, kid. That was some great work you did there.”

Gabriel turns to Jack. “Nice work there, blondie. Sorry the kid has you under a iron fist.”

“Hey!” Jesse protests, but Jack just laughs, good natured, like the inside joke this has become.

Jack smiles at Jesse. “You’re a natural leader in the kitchen.”

They’re on their way to Jack’s house for dinner, chinese food ordered, when Jack finally says what he’s been itching to since the day Jesse suggested the competition.

“You know, Jesse, you’re really good at this. You’ve got the passion of someone who could go really far.” He swallows down the nervousness.

Jesse rolls his eyes. “It’s fine, Jack. Ya ain’t gotta compliment ma skill all the time, my self esteem ain’t that low.”

Jack shakes his head. “No, Jesse, I’m trying to tell you,” Gabriel seems to know what he’s going to say before he even says it and breaks into a wide grin, “I want you to be the Sous Chef for the bakery.”

Jesse looks up at him, shock clear on his face. Jack raises his hands. “Now I know you wanted to save up for your own place, and I’ll give you a pay raise, you’ll be able to move out, but also you’ll help me with the menu. You have amazing ideas and it would be a waste for the bakery not to use them.”

He’s a talented young man, and Jack feels kinship so closely to him. He’s gotten to know these two men and he isn’t sure that he could step back now even if he wanted to. Jesse deserves this even if Jack is doing it out of a sense of misplaced loyalty. Jack always imagines having a son, raising him, bringing him to the kitchen, teaching him to love the things Jack so dearly loves. Jesse is the next best thing, a kid with talent and a need to be loved, to be liked. Jack imagines fifteen years from now when he’s greyer and older and Jesse finally takes over the shop for him. On those days when they’re elbows deep in doughs and tired, Jack has never been happier. He imagines having a son just like Jesse McCree.

Jesse looks frozen in shock. “Ain’t never been a Sous Chef before.”

Gabriel laughs. “Well I guess you are now, kid.”

Jesse looks at Jack, his eyes not wavering. “You sure you wanna do that, Jack? I know there are a lot more qualified people out there.”

Jack snorts. “There sure are, but half of them don’t have your heart, Jesse. Plus you deserve this. Five months you’ve been working overtime, helping everyone out, busting your ass to prove to everyone that you’re good at this. You deserve this, kid. Plus the kitchen wouldn’t be the same without you. What do you say?”

Jesse gulps, but he nods vehemently. “I won’t let ya down, Jack.”

Later when they’re leaving after dinner and Jesse is getting in the car, Gabe pauses in the doorway. He seems hesitant, but Jack just leveled him with a soft gaze in hopes it would help him say whatever he needed to say.

“You’re a saint, Morrison. Never met a man like you.”

Jack blushes, but shrugs off the compliment. “I’m just doing what any guy in my position would do. Jesse’s the real mastermind.”

Gabriel stares at him, seemingly like he wanted to say something, but stopped, and then says, “You aren’t just some guy. You’re a good man, Jackie.”

It’s the first time he’s ever said Jack’s name. It came out soft, gentle. Jack imagines that if Gabriel were splayed across his sheets he’d whisper the nickname just the same, like something to be whispered in the wee hours of the early morning when the sun rose. His face, scars from battles Jack would probably never know, was beautiful. The kind of beautiful that, if Jack were younger, would leave him dumb and breathless.

“You’re a good man, too, Gabriel.”

Gabe looks at him. “Goodnight, Jack.”

It seemed like he wanted to say more, say something that Jack himself was also feeling. It was a tie, a pull that some gangly teen in a cowboy hat had brought them together. Jack knew that whatever was happening could never happen, Jesse was more important. He could be a master baker, and Jack wanted to focus all his attention on the boy who needed him. Not the man standing in front of him looking for all the world like the man Jack has fantasized since he realized he liked men.

Jack smiles at him, a bright beaming thing, like a man in love. “Goodnight, Gabe.”

When Gabriel walks down the driveway Jack closes the door, leaning against it, and gives out a sigh. He’s happy, so happy that he and Jesse have a shot at this, but he also feels like there’s something missing. Something vital. He’s softly padding through his house, picking up the trash left behind by the boys, something that gives Jack a strange sense of satisfaction at the physical display of domesticity. He finds himself humming when there’s a rapping at his door, urgent.

He walks over, opening the door to find Gabriel there, out of breath, and when Jack looks out the door he finds that their car is standing idly a block away. Jesse is leaning out of the window, grinning, and waving.

“Gabe? What is it? Did you forget-”

“Get a drink with me.” Gabe says it plainly, interrupting Jack’s thoughts immediately.

“What?” Jack’s brain short circuits.

Gabriel rubs the back of his neck. “I mean- would you like to get a drink with me? You can say no. I know it’s strange that your Sous Chef’s father is hitting on you. But you know…”

Jack must have looked like a deer in headlights, because Gabe takes a step back, looking away.

“Sorry if I misread the signs. The kid keeps telling me to go for it, but I wasn’t sure and-”

“Yes.” Jack says simply.

Gabe looks up immediately at this. “Really?”

Jack nods, finds it in himself to get some of his body parts to work. He’s not sure that he isn’t dreaming. “Yes, really. Absolutely.”

Gabe visibly relaxes, nodding his head. “Good. Good. I guess… I should leave you to it.”

Jack smiles at him. “See you later, Gabe.”

Gabe nods and immediately takes off towards his car. Gabe must signal that it went well, because several seconds before Jack closes the door he hears Jesse wolf whistling. He goes to bed dreaming of yellow light and the feeling of Gabriel’s skin.


	2. Things Taste Better in Warm Houses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello this gets feelsy but just bare with me! Also i added links to all the desserts so yall can enjoy them with me! Also also i added an extra chapter because we're getting an epilogue in this bitch

**_"Food is sybolic of love, when words are inadequate."_ **

* * *

 

Jesse McCree lives by two rules. The first is that he’s always willing to eat something twice. Flukes of food sometimes leave a bad impression and Gabriel has convinced him that being adventurous in food is one of the most thrilling things you can enjoy when you eat. Gabe turned something Jesse had only ever seen as a need for survival into an art form. He’ll never tell the guy, but when he was plucked up and taken to Los Angeles he’s grateful that Gabe didn’t try to get him to like things that he would assume guys his age would like. It’s something he’s always had an interest in, so when he finds out he’s being adopted by the editor-in-chief of a food magazine he’s secretly elated.

The second rule he lives by is never judging someone by their looks. And let the record show that he’s trying real hard with Genji Shimada but he’ll be damned if that fella’s hair ain’t the greenest thing Jesse has ever seen.

“So what’s with-?” Jesse gestures to his own head, but Genji just laughs. They’re sitting in the cafe of Jack’s bakery. The one where Jesse is _Sous Chef_. He still can’t believe it, but it’s real, a dream like he didn’t realize he wanted until it was staring him in the face. They’re eating Quiche Lorraine, something Jesse will never admit to loving more than any foods he has ever found on the floor or months old snacks in the walk-in. As always Genji eats as though he’s starving, but he clearly savors all the flavors. Even with all the food in his mouth he manages to answer Jesse.

“No one expected Sojiro Shimada’s son to dye his hair and move to the states to open a Japanese comfort food restaurant. So I did that. The green shocks people the most.”

Jesse nods. The idea of defying every standard, throwing them all away, just to live life a little more. That sounds like something that Jesse wishes he had the courage to do. He goes at his own pace but some days it feels like he hasn’t made much progress at all. He spent a lifetime defying the standards imposed on him and after transitioning he spent a long time just trying to feel good enough. Now he’s not sure where he stands or how to do the things that he’ll need to do to live a life that makes him happy.

Genji points his fork at Jesse.

“What about you? What’s the deal with the cowboy get up? Also has Jack said anything about your hat? It goes against so many health inspection codes.”

Jesse laughs. “It’s just who I am, always been into cowboys. As for the hat, Jack would never tell me to get rid of it. I love it too much and Jack’s a big ol’ softy.”

“I heard that!” Jack says from the back of house which causes Jesse to chuckle to himself.

Genji looks at him with curiosity in his eyes. “Jack. Is that… your dad?”

If he can get his pa’s ass into gear to make something happen he might be. Jesse likes Jack, he’s the first person Gabe ever had any interest in that Jesse didn’t immediately despise. Before Jack it’s always been people who are too caught up in their culinary world. They’re men and women who take themselves too seriously, which Jesse hates. But with Jack it had been different. Jack lives a quiet life, but he has such a deep passion for food, but without all the pretension, Jesse can’t help but sit in awe of it. The guys before Jack that Gabe introduced him to were douchebags. It’s quite the opposite here, he thinks Jack is the best. He’s a hardass sometimes, regimented like only the military can make you, but he’s got these bright blue eyes like Jesse’s mama used to have. He’s kind, quiet, the kinda man Gabriel oughta find for himself. Jack respects Jesse, let’s him be the adult he’s trying so hard to be. Everyone else used to only see a teenage thug caught up with the wrong people. Not Gabriel, not Jack. They’re the perfect couple.

Jesse shrugs. “Might as well be. He’s taught me everything I know so far.”

Genji smiles. “It sounds like you have a lot of respect for him.”

Jesse nods. “‘Course I do. If you ever see Jack in the back, he makes bread making an art form. Ain’t never seen anything like it. Makes a man appreciate every damn grain.”

Genji sighs dreamily. “That sounds great. I wish Hanzo could be here. Maybe he’d finally get it.”

Jesse snorts. “What’s the deal with that brother of yours anyway?”

Genji chuckles. “I wish I could say it’s the stick he has had firmly placed up his ass since we were children, but that remains to be seen.

“I think it’s the stress, or pressure, or loneliness, but some days I’m not sure. He’s never had fun. My father only ever taught him to work, to be the best. I was under that influence, but Hanzo moreso. He never had friends and even as children he barely played with me. By the age of fourteen he was already working as a prep cook for my father.”

Jesse whistles. “Well shoot I’d have a stick up my ass too. That’s all kinds of messed up.”

Genji nods, but gestures to the bakery as a whole.

“That is why I want him to come here. You and Jack, it is clear you both enjoy this, have a deep appreciation and love for the work you do. I wish he could understand what it is to love what you do.”

Jesse imagines if Gabriel had been meaner, more strict. He imagines if all the trips to the test kitchen were to prepare him for a life of working endlessly in editorials and in front of cameras. He imagines if Jack were not as forgiving, not as open or ready to give his praise. Jesse can’t imagine a life like that, lived so alone. For a while it had been just that. He spent most of the time in Deadlock pretending to be someone he wasn’t. He had resigned himself to a life where all he would get was blood in his mouth and a fist to the face if he stepped out of line. Not here, never here. Sometimes he gets a strange feeling, when Jack is teaching him a new skill, like it’s all the childhood memories he should have made. Jack’s voice is tender and kind, he guides Jesse just like Gabe does. Here there’s room for error, room for growth, room to be himself.

He jumps out of his chair. He has an idea. It’s a wild, insane, irrational idea. But Genji looks like the kind of guy who would go for it.

“What is it, Jesse?”

Jesse looks at him. “I might be able to help you, help your brother, too.”

“How?” Genji sounds skeptical at best, and Jesse has always loved proving people wrong.

He runs to the back of house. “Hey Jack,” Jack looks up when he enters, waiting for Jesse to say something, “mind if I take a half day? I’ll be here extra early tomorrow.”

Jack waves him away. “Don’t you think about coming in earlier than you need to. Where are you rushing off to?”

“I have an idea for Genji to help his brother.”

Jack smirks knowingly at this, which Jesse doesn’t like one bit. “A ten foot pole, huh?”

Jesse rolls his eyes but leaves regardless.

“Stay out of trouble!” Jack calls out.

“Not a chance!” He calls back.

When he goes back to the front, Genji is waiting, but Jesse walks right past him, out of the door.

“Are you going to tell me what’s happening?” Genji asks with curiosity.

“You, sir, are gonna help me convince your brother to take a day off, and go to the farmer’s market.”

Genji laughs. He laughs for a long time, to the point where any other person might be offended by how hilarious he finds it.

“My brother hasn’t taken a day off for the last three years.”

Jesse scoffs. “A man needs a break. You’re gonna help me, and we’re gonna save your brother from himself.”

Genji deliberates for a moment, but looks at Jesse with a sincere regard. “You want to help him? Even after he was rude to you?”

Jesse won’t tell him about how he feels for Hanzo, won’t tell him about dark eyes and lips that high heaven made just to tempt Jesse McCree. He won’t tell him how he wants Hanzo to live a life he’s proud of, not that his father would be proud of. He won’t explain to Genji that Jesse is doing this because Jack inspires him to be the person he was always destined to be. He’s destined to be a good person, and the least he can do for Jack in return is help someone else.

“It’s different when you understand how a person can be. We owe it to him to help him.”

“It’s not like I haven’t tried,” Genji argues, “he’s just not interested in taking my words to heart.”

They see Hanzo’s bakery a few blocks away, and Jesse just shakes his head.

“Y’all ain’t never met me before. I’ll handle your brother if you can handle his bakery.”

Genji just nods, like this is the most important mission of his life.

Hanzo is busying himself with a [Strawberry Charlotte](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D6ayt56WkAIjFgu.jpg) cake when they enter. He doesn’t notice them at first, which gives Jesse the opportunity to stare. Hanzo’s hair, which is a sharp undercut, different from the last time he saw him, is covered by his chef’s hat. He’s wearing a pristine chef’s coat, but the thing Jesse is really taken aback by is his focus. The last time he’d been in the same room while Hanzo was baking he’d been far more preoccupied with winning a top spot. But now that he has time to stare he feels his heart pounding in his ears. There’s no hard lines on his face, his eyes are sharp and maintain the focus as he uses tweezers to place mint leaves on the Strawberry Charlotte. It has easily definable layers, a beautiful coating of strawberry compote, but Hanzo is the most beautiful thing about the whole scene. Jesse wonders if Hanzo’s hands are as gentle as they look when they hold the piping bag.

He looks up and immediately the serene look on his face is replaced with a look of disdain.

“What are you doing here, _Jesse McCree_?”

Genji grins at him. “Brother, McCree has volunteered to help you stop being such an ass.”

Hanzo scowls, clearly not liking the insult at all. “And how exactly do you plan to do that?”

Jesse smiles at him. “We’re going to a farmer’s market.”

Hanzo scoffs. “I have a job to do, cowboy.”

Genji has suddenly materialized an apron and is pulling it on. “Not anymore. I know how this place works. Now get out of here.”

Before he can even argue Genji is pulling off his chef’s coat and hat. He’s standing on the sidewalk right outside the bakery, glaring at Jesse, but damn it all to hell if that man isn’t the most handsome man Jesse has ever seen.

“This better not be a ploy to leave me unprepared for the competition. That would never work.”

Jesse laughs. “I imagine you’ve got every dessert written down to the letter. But this ain’t about that. Genji told me you haven’t had a day off in three years, that right?”

Hanzo shrugs. “Perfection demands excellence and constant attention.”

Jesse snorts, pulling him along, ignoring the way his hands are calloused but hold him willingly. “Yeah, whatever you say, Shimada. Not today it doesn't. We’re going to the Farmer’s Market.”

Jesse and Hanzo are walking silently for a moment, Hanzo is surprisingly docile now that they aren’t in a competitive space. Jesse tries to ignore the spark he gets from walking next to him. Today is about helping Hanzo, not worrying about being attracted to his most worthy opponent.

“So what is it exactly that you intend to have me do?” Hanzo asks.

His voice is flat but Jesse knows he’s hiding his curiosity well, he’ll never admit it, but Hanzo is just like everyone else. He’s curious, inquisitive, has a natural inclination to ask questions and understand things as they are. He’s a normal guy, and Jesse is determined to make him feel normal again. He knows what it’s like to feel out of your skin, to strive for this unattainable standard, constantly reaching, but always out of reach. He understands that he’ll never understand how Hanzo feels. The unsurmountable pressure built by decades of work, dedication, discipline, and crushing responsibility are his alone to overcome. But for now, Jesse will start with a strawberry shortcake.

Jesse smiles at him. “We’re gonna be eating some sweets.”

“We work with them for a living.” Hanzo says with an eye roll.

Jesse is familiar with this move. Gabe has done it enough times that Jesse can see right through it. Jesse knows that Gabriel has a sweet tooth bigger than the state of Texas, but he’ll never admit it. Except to Jack. Jack seems to be the exception to all his father’s rules. Hanzo isn’t fooling Jesse, though. He knows from what Genji has said that Hanzo rarely indulges, but he loves sweets. Another thing his father trained out of him. He’s determined to make Hanzo fall in love with all the things his family told him weren’t worth having.

“Which stands to reason that we should be eating more, dontcha think?”

Hanzo is silent but his interest is clearly piqued.

When they arrive at the Farmer’s Market Jesse goes right to the stall. A grandmother and her granddaughter always sell here, the [strawberry shortcake](https://www.thespruceeats.com/thmb/MrmZEz1vwcnkpq92F1S6OhbjSf4=/450x0/filters:no_upscale\(\):max_bytes\(150000\):strip_icc\(\)/24-5b3f8572c9e77c00378cff46.jpg) is a simple, flaky pastry sandwiched with chantilly cream to make any man swoon, and strawberries soaked in lemon juice and sugar. The entire little dessert is topped with a dollop of whipped cream and a mint leaf. The simplicity of the dessert only serves to highlight every single ingredient. There’s something to be said about fancy desserts, but things like this don’t require all the technique and precision, the attention to detail that comes with them. These desserts are designed to make you happy, plain and simple. Jesse has to wonder if maybe Hanzo has complicated his happiness in a similar fashion.

When Jesse carries the plates over to a small bench and table Hanzo give him a skeptical look.

“We’re here to eat Strawberry Shortcake?” He says it almost with disdain, but Jesse sees that when he sets it down right in front of him, he doesn’t move it away. Jesse brandishes his spoon. Hanzo looks as though he’s trying to convince Jesse he’s above eating something like this, but Jesse won’t be fooled.

“Hun, just try it, I swear your life will be changed.”

He waits, watching Hanzo eat. The way Hanzo’s face transforms is one of the great wonders of the world. Jesse watches him devour the entire dessert. He imagines that Hanzo has only ever had desserts that are worthy of a Michelin Star, but some days it’s about the simplicity of it all. Simple pleasures make life far more enjoyable. Gabe taught him that.

“You like it?”

Hanzo daintily wipes his face as though he hadn’t eaten that dessert in under five minutes.

“It was exquisite. Your taste is surprisingly refined.”

Jesse laughs at this. “Ain’t nothing refined about it. You just gotta appreciate it. Appreciate everything on the spectrum. It ain’t about frills, or fancy shit, it’s about enjoying it.”

Hanzo sits in silence. He looks at peace, tranquil in a way Jesse has never seen. He appears to be thinking for a moment before he gives Jesse a pointed stare.

“You said there would be more?” He asks, sheepishly, as if afraid to admit that he might end up enjoying himself.

Jesse grins.

From there they move to all the food stalls. There are salted caramel and bacon cupcakes, deep fried oreos, key lime swiss cake rolls, bourbon glazed apple slices. They take a brief intermission to eat savories, but Jesse can still see that Hanzo is impressed with them. There are fish tacos with sriracha aioli, Japanese Katsudon that makes Hanzo long for home, and there are burgers cooked medium rare. Everything is a symphony of smells, tastes, and feelings. All the food is amazing, Hanzo wastes no time telling him. It seems that Hanzo has never had a chance to see all that was out there if it wasn’t above average, high class cuisine. Jesse is a man of humble beginnings, he wants Hanzo to understand that some of the greatest, most highly rated dishes, come from a place of comfort. Everything that they make, all the high class dessert, definitely serve a purpose, but so do the working class dishes. They remind us of the world before humans evolved into these above average people. It’s from a simpler time, dedicated to making food with love, time, and effort.

He wants Hanzo to find a place of comfort, find something that feels like home, and cherish that feeling above all else. He wants Hanzo to feel like Jesse does every time he goes to work. They’re eating their last dessert, it’s a mint lemonade cupcake. Hanzo has his eyes closed, savoring every scent and flavor of the cupcake. Jesse is watching him, astounded by this man’s ability to enjoy something so deeply, it seems like a switch was turned on.

When he opens his eyes he’s smiling, Jesse thinks he’s the most beautiful man he’s ever seen in his life.

“This was superb.”

Jesse grins. “Glad you liked it, darlin’.”

When they’re walking back to the bakery, half the day gone by now, Hanzo gives him a brief yet sincere look.

“I believe I owe you an apology.”

Jesse looks over to him. “What for?”

“I was not very amicable to you when we first met. I am still very dedicated to winning, but I should have been more polite.”

Jesse shrugs off the apology, “Don’t sweat it. I know it comes with the trade, ain’t no big deal.”

Hanzo shakes his head. “But it is. You see, my father has always hired highly ambitious people. He never favored me, and so most of my progress was made by being better than most. In his kitchen it is only perfection we strive for, little else matters, in fact nothing else matters. Manners are an afterthought in the quest for perfection, to be the best. It is a cutthroat environment to have grown up in, and so sometimes I am not a very agreeable person. But I appreciate what you have done for me today regardless of how I treated you.”

Jesse smiles at him, hopes it’s as bright as his heart feels right now in this moment.

“Well I’m just glad you enjoyed yourself. Wasn’t sure you still knew how to do that.”

Hanzo chuckles softly. “I am sure I had forgotten. It will be hard work to learn to enjoy myself again, but thank you for today. It was a pleasure.”

They’re standing in front of the bakery now, suddenly, abruptly, Jesse isn’t sure how they suddenly got here. Jesse wants to say so much more, wants to kiss Hanzo to see if his mouth will taste like lemon zest and mint. Instead he opts for a smile and a wave.

“See you at the competition tomorrow.”

Hanzo smiles at him. It sends a thrill through him, to see that glaring eyes and deep set frown is replaced with a soft expression.

“It will be an honor to bake beside you, Jesse McCree.”

Jesse is walking home, reeling from the progress made, a light feeling he’s not sure he’s ever felt before. Before now Jesse was always a one track kinda person. He was dedicated to his work with Jack. He always imagined he wasn’t really one for romance, never felt the need for it. But he’s had to rearrange his entire world view and his view of himself, when he thinks of Hanzo Shimada. It’s clear that Hanzo is capable of great kindness, something that just needs to be worked at. But Jesse finds himself feeling soft, tender, when he thinks of the man. His face as he experienced some truly amazing desserts today. Jesse imagines what it would be like if he spent his foreseeable future introducing Hanzo to all the things that make people happy in their simplicity. He imagines doing a lot of things with Hanzo. It’s something he’s surprised by himself.

He’s so entrenched in his thoughts that before he knows it he’s down the block from home. He looks to see that Jack and Gabe are on the porch. Jack is standing in front of Gabe, hands held softly, and they look to be talking about something, tender eyes and hearts. He realizes that in this moment he finally understands love. Not just in his own life, but how it manifests for others. He’s spent a lot of time being charming, being flirty, being someone who is personable, never found the right person. But Jack and Gabe look at each other like the world could crash around them and they’d barely notice. He is struck by the way that love transforms his father, a guy who normally isn’t inclined to displays of affection, to be the kind of man who looks at Jack with all the love in the world. Jesse sneaks around the back of the house. He doesn’t whistle or laugh or cheer, let’s them have this silent slice of tenderness like every angel food cake Jesse has ever had. It’s sweet, light, and he can’t bring himself to interrupt. He won’t heckle them about flirting or loving looks.

There are, after all, worse things than two men in love.

 

The following day at the competition is less pressure. More stability on Jesse’s part, he knows he can do this. He spent the last week training for this moment, has tested this recipe over and over, made sure it’s perfect and then perfected beyond that.

Before the competition Hanzo and Genji approach them again.

“Hey! I hope your dessert does well! I’m sure it’ll be great. And as always save me a piece!” Genji says, enthusiastically, with a wide grin. Jesse is sure that regardless of the outcome of this competition Genji will be his best friend beyond this. He’s always positive, happy to be around, and when he and Jesse get together he feels like he’s found the best friend he spent a lifetime hoping he’d have. They’re polar opposites, from two different worlds, but it makes for the most unlikely, yet strongest friendship.

Hanzo walks next to him, smiling softly to Jesse.

“Good luck, cowboy.”

Jesse tips his hat. “You too, darlin’.”

They walk over to their station, when Jack turns to Jesse with a raised eyebrow.

Jesse blushes as he ties on his apron. “ _Shut up._ ”

Jack raises his hands in surrender.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Jack laughs, but they both set to work with their Mise. When the competition officially starts Jesse has razor sharp focus. He thinks only about Jack and winning.

The [Mille Feuille ](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0221/6348/products/millefeuille_1_grande.jpg?v=1511911152)is paper-thin, crisp, brown, and beautiful. The creme patissier with vanilla bean in it is just as good, they make dark chocolate ganache and white chocolate ganache to top them, and then while they assemble the layers, Jesse’s only focus is on making them perfect. The layer of ganache on top is perfect, sets immediately, and when they’re told to stop they have the most perfect Mille Feuille he’s ever seen. When he looks over to his right Genji and Hanzo has perfect sweet and sour confections. They’re [Kohaku-to](https://66.media.tumblr.com/5d6680e4aaabd198a940be22aa1c72df/tumblr_okqvet5LTZ1tvhovpo1_640.jpg), apparently, and inside them are suspended pieces of fruits and elegant flowers. Jesse and Jack are announced in the top five slots, along with Hanzo and Genji.

When they’re cleaning up Hanzo and Genji approach them. Genji is bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Well?”

Jesse laughs as he rolls his eyes, and offers them two forks and one Mille Feuille. Genji groans in pleasure.

“So perfect. I’m not even sure how you two do it.”

Jack chuckles. “It’s really all Jesse.”

Hanzo smiles at Jesse. “This is truly an amazing dessert.”

Jesse blushes, ignoring everyone else just to smile at Hanzo. “Well yours look pretty damn perfect too, hun.”

When they’re offered to Jack and Jesse they both have open looks of surprise.

“Well I’ll be damned! This is amazin’!”

Jack nods. “This is one amazing dessert.”

Hanzo smirks at Jesse, “It would seem we are going to be equally challenged.”

Jesse laughs, his head thrown back in surprise by the way Hanzo can elicit such joyful sounds from him.

Gabe appears then, a smile on his face.

“Jess, you keep going in this competition and I’m gonna be expecting you to make me dessert all the time.”

Jesse smiles at him, but lightly shoves him with his shoulder. “Not a chance, old man. You got Jack here for that.”

Jack smiles at Gabe, who returns the smile. They have soft looks of affection, it’s almost too soft, almost invasive to watch them.

Gabe turns to Hanzo and Genji after a moment, extending his hand out.

“Nice to meet you both. I’m Gabriel Reyes.”

Hanzo gives him a small bow. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Reyes. I am Hanzo Shimada.”

Gabe gives Jesse a look over Hanzo’s shoulder.

 _Is this guy for real?_ He mouths. Jesse shrugs. 

Genji smiles at Gabe, shaking his hand rigorously. “Nice to meet you! Thanks for Jesse, by the way. I’m sure he had to have gotten his skill from somewhere.”

Gabe smiles at Jesse, a look of pride clear on his face.

“No, that was all him.”

Gabe looks at the pair. “We’re going to have dinner, you fellas want to join us? I always cook for too many people.”

Hanzo shakes his head. “No, I am sorry but I must be getting back to the bakery.”

Gabe checks his watch, eyebrows high in surprise. “At 9 P.M.?”

Genji elbows his brother. “Come on, brother! One dinner won’t hurt.”

Jesse can understand how they all must look. Jack and Gabe are holding hands, silent looks of pleading yet soft understanding. Jack never makes someone do something they don’t want to do. Jesse is smiling at him with the easy affection his chest is quickly getting used to around Hanzo. Genji is bouncing, pleading, the most eager. Jesse is sure that he’s only doing this because he wants to see Jesse’s house.

And the free food. Genji will always go if there’s free food.

Hanzo, understandably, relents to them all.

Jack and Gabe are walking ahead of them all, hands held tightly. They are talking quietly, but it’s clear they’re having a good time. Genji is trailing behind them, asking Jack and Gabe questions that Jesse can’t hear the answer to. After a moment Hanzo looks at Jesse.

“Your fathers, they seem very happy.”

Jesse laughs. “Jack ain’t my dad, but I appreciate it. They are, I think. Spent too long alone, those two.”

Hanzo nods, clearly contemplating, in thought about something Jesse can’t suss out.

“And they are… out?” He says quietly.

Jesse shrugs. “Gabe always has been, think it just comes with the territory. Jack… wasn’t always. ‘Sides we both know what restaurants are like. Some are good about that, but a lot of them ain’t.”

Hanzo nods, looking at the two men. “That is… nice. I am glad they found each other.”

“What about you? Ever found someone.” Jesse asks, against what would probably be his better judgment. He’s not sure if he’ll like the answer.

Hanzo shakes his head.

“No. I found myself completely dedicated to my work. There were moments, perhaps, where other men had offered me companionship, but my paranoia was stronger than my loneliness. I’m not sure I am meant to be with someone. People often times find me very off putting.”

Jesse gives him a smile. “For what it’s worth, I like you, Shimada. Once you get past all the grouchiness, you’re a damn fine fella, Hanzo. Anyone would be lucky to have ya.”

Hanzo nods, a small smile on his face. “Thank you, cowboy.”

When they arrive home Reaper is there to greet them. Instead of greeting Jesse he immediately goes to Jack. Jack laughs, bending down to pet him. It feels good, like the kind of home Jesse always wished he had. They all settle around the dining room table, chatter is quiet but somehow it makes their home feel more full. The meal is perfect, every meal Gabe makes is amazing.

When it’s time to leave Genji thanks everyone, standing by the door, ready to leave. Hanzo is standing a bit awkwardly, but he turns to Gabe.

“Thank you so much for your meal. It was one of the best I have had the pleasure of having in some time.”

Gabe smiles at him. “Glad you liked it, kid. Stop by anytime. Door’s always open.”

The pair walk home, Jesse watches them go from the porch while he smokes a cigar. He finds that there’s hope for Hanzo Shimada yet. He just hopes that it’ll happen sooner rather than later, that Hanzo will realize there’s a whole world to experience outside of the life his father created for him.

Jesse is leaning against the porch railing when Jack comes out. The door closes softly behind him. Jesse wonders how many stars in the sky he could pinpoint in Hanzo’s eyes. He also wonders how things will go, moving forward, how Jack and Gabe will make it. Love isn’t easy, that’s what Mama used to say. She talked about how after the music is done, the movie ends, loving people is the hardest, but most rewarding thing you can do. She’s been dead too long for Jesse to remember her voice, but he remembers her words all the same. He wonders if she would be proud of him, where he’s ended up.

“Hey, kid.” Jack says quietly.

Jesse is looking at the stars. “Hey.”

Jack is silent for a moment. Jesse begins, unprompted, but gives Jack a glance.

“You know, ain’t never thought I’d get here. Wherever here is, never thought I’d be here. We’ve talked each other’s ears off ‘bout it. But I appreciate it, Jack. Mama would have loved you. Loved you for helpin’ my sorry ass when I didn’t deserve it.”

Jack chuckles softly, “I’m sure I would have liked her too. But Jesse, life isn’t about what we _deserve_. You don’t get to choose that. If we ever had to tally up what some of us deserve a lot of us wouldn’t have shit to show for it.”

Jesse sighs, looking back at the stars. “Never thought we’d be here. This competition, this life. Gotta say, Jack, you make us believe in miracles.”

Jack looks at the stars with a look in his eyes that Jesse can’t decipher. He wonders if Jack will ever tell him everything, every secret he’s hiding behind eyes that give it all away. He wonders if maybe he’ll ever understand the father figures in his life, people who seem so indecipherable. He knows he’s an open book, spent his life trying to be the kind of person who doesn’t hold anything in. But Gabriel and Jack, they are so hard to know. Unknowable. Jesse finds himself frustrated, alone, trying to understand these men.

“It isn’t a miracle to choose love, Jesse.” Jack says it softly. He can tell Jack is thinking of his father. If there is one thing that Jesse knows, it’s that these two men clearly love each other.

Jack sighs, quiet, and moves off the porch.

“Well I guess I better be off.”

Jesse tips his hat toward Jack.  

“See you tomorrow, Jack.”

He watches Jack walk the three blocks to his home. He watches him walk out of sight, around the corner. Jesse feels a sense of contentment, he knows regardless of how things turn out that this will be his family forever, a patchwork of men who are too old to understand how to love one another, but find it in themselves to do so anyway. Jesse feels content with his victory, his position at the bakery, and his life. He looks at the stars for a little longer, feeling like perhaps the universe has created a sense of peace for him, just this once.

When he walks into the house Gabriel is sitting on the couch, leaned forward, his hands wringing themselves. He’s clearly anxious. Jesse stops in his tracks.

Gabe looks up. “Oh, Jesse. Got a second?”

Jesse nods wordlessly and sits in the chair opposite to him. Gabe hasn’t stop the thing he’s doing with his hands, but he looks at Jesse.

“I’m sorry.” He says it, subdued in a way Jesse has never heard his father. Gabriel is usually so sure of himself, every action is done with conviction. Even if he takes it back, he knows when he’s right and he sticks by it. He’s not above apologizing, but this time Jesse isn’t sure what Gabe has done wrong to warrant this.

“For what?” He says, genuinely confused by this moment.

Gabriel sighs, stands up, begins to pace. He looks so unlike the father Jesse knows he’s worried Gabe has finally lost it.

“I tried to do right by you, we both know that. But goddammit kid, it feels like you’ve been holding back.”

Jesse looks at him, fear gripping his chest. He wasn’t ready for this. _Not ready. **Not ready.**_

Gabe continues to pace, clearly oblivious to Jesse’s internal struggle. And that seems to be what the past two years have been like. Both worlds imploding, trying to save each other, and suddenly, they’re crashing, a collision course they can’t change, but both so oblivious to one another.

“These past few years it feels like everything I’ve tried to do hasn’t worked. And maybe I’m a bit jealous that Jack just had to swoop in and fix it all for you but I want you to know that I’m proud of you. Proud of everything you do, I haven’t said it. Figured we weren’t those kinds of people, but there’s no reason why we can’t be those people.”

Jesse is silent. He’s not sure how he’s going to say it, but the words have been threatening to come out of him since he was eighteen. There’s no stopping them now. They’ve decided that this moment, of all the moments he always thought would be the perfect time to tell his father he’s gay, is the one time he’ll say it. He is nearing tears, not sure how to hold back this final part of himself. He’s spent his whole life hiding. He remembers asking Gabriel for Hormone Replacement Therapy, how Gabe smiled at him when he was fifteen, and gave him everything he’d ever wanted. But this feels like betrayal, feels like he couldn’t give Gabriel the one thing he needed, a normal child. He already failed Gabriel once, but now, in this moment, he’s going to fail him again. He knows that somewhere in his brain, rationally, Gabe will probably be elated, be happy to know him again, but in this moment all that moves through his veins is ice cold fear. He feels like drowning, but maybe that’s why the tears begin to fall. He’s so tired of drowning, just wants someone to love him, someone to save him. Mama always loved him, and he’s sure that if she were alive today she would, but she’s not. Gabe is standing in front of him, wondering what he ever did wrong, but Jesse knows it isn’t Gabe. He’s closed himself off as much as Gabe has.

Gabriel looks at him, surprised by the tears. “Jesus, Jesse, I’m so so-”

“I’m gay.” He says it. He says it clear, it feels loud in his ears, but the words stand on their own. His conviction doesn’t waver, he’s known this was what it was when he turned eighteen.

The confession seems to take Gabe by surprise. He’s not sure how to react. Jesse was scared of this, scared his father wouldn’t understand, be confused, or be too shocked, too disappointed that his son isn’t normal.

He runs, runs up the stairs, to his room. He can hear Gabe calling him past the roaring in his ears. He’s so scared, so afraid of how this will change things. He’s hyperventilating. He knows he’s having a panic attack, but in this moment he can’t think of anything. He begins to pack all his belongings. He wants to only take the things he owns himself, but he looks around the room, realizing this life he’s built with Gabriel is a collection of things not entirely his and not entirely Gabe’s. He begins to shove clothes into the suitcase he’s kept in the back of his closet since he was twelve, always convinced he’d run away the first chance he got. Somewhere on the way to growing up he got comfortable, finally happy to have a safe home, a happy home. That was ten years ago. Jesse is so lost in his panic he nearly jumps out of his skin when Gabe grips his shoulder. Jesse can’t look him in the eyes, won’t look at the disappointment he’ll have in his eyes.

Gabriel turns him around to face him, but before Jesse can say anything Gabe has him in the tightest hug Jesse has ever received. They don’t say anything, but Jesse’s not sure what happens to make the dam break. He’s shaking, his body convulses, shaking out the shame he’s kept in for so long. His bones rattle and shake as though they’re trying to expel the years of self hatred, all the secrets he kept from the one person who only ever wanted him to be happy since Mama died. Every awful thought he’s had about this moment tries to come at him with full force, remind him of the reasons why this would end badly. It’s his fight or flight instinct, but Jesse’s defenses have been destroyed by a room that’s his, a father who always made him understand that he was loved, and by a life he’s built for himself and no one else.

Gabe doesn’t let go until Jesse stops shaking. He must look like a sight, eyes red and puffy, and trembling. It reminds him of the day Gabe saw him, trembling in a jail cell, and offered him the one thing he’d always wanted. Freedom. Here, he realizes, Gabriel is doing that, just one more time. He wants to grip his hand as tight as he can and take this, just one more time. He hopes Gabe will never get tired of offering him this, worried that one day he’ll be out of chances to be free.

Gabe also has tears in his eyes. Jesse realizes with a start that this is the first time he’s ever seen his father cry. He’s been with Gabe for ten years, watched him leave one career and do something completely different, watched him break up with people they both thought would stay. But this moment, where Jesse finally tells him who he is, is the moment Gabriel Reyes cries.

“I’m so sorry, Jesse.”

Jesse shakes his head. “I don’t understand.”

Gabe pulls him in again, this time Jesse processes the hug. Gabe is a furnace, warmth at every inch of the contact. His arms are firm, keeping Jesse in place, and even if Jesse isn’t small by any means, Gabe feels like a rock, holding him, tethering him to this moment.

“If I had been more open, talked about things more, you wouldn’t have kept this in.”

Jesse shakes his head, pulls away to sit on his bed. He puts his hands on his knees, trying to force himself to have this conversation, let himself be laid out raw, honesty in every way possible.

“It wasn’t you, Gabe. I was scared. So damn scared. I just wanted to give you a normal kid, we both know I ain’t normal, but I thought if I just tried hard enough, I could give you an almost normal kid. After all you’ve done, I just wanted to give you one thing. I kept taking, but I never _give_ you anything.” His voice cracks and he has to hold the sob that threatens to come out in his throat.

Gabe’s eyebrows furrow, but he kneels in front of Jesse. He’s still crying, Jesse isn’t sure what to do with a world where Gabe cries.

“Jesse, _you are normal._ ”

Jesse feels himself crying all over again. He’s only ever wanted to hear the words. He wanted someone, anyone, to tell him that everything he is isn’t a mistake the universe couldn’t be bothered to fix. He’s spent so much time begging for someone to see him as he is, as he wishes he always was. And this moment, with Gabe’s hazel eyes boring into him, shakes him. Gabe is reaching into that space Jesse thought Mama would only ever occupy, and he’s burrowing himself firmly in there. He wishes that this would stop, that he could get some reprieve from this moment of vulnerability but Gabe continues.

“I never expected anything from you, Jesse. I only want you to be happy. I know carrying this around can’t have been easy. I’m sorry I didn’t make it easier.”

Jesse just shakes his head. “You never did anything wrong. You’re the best dad a fella could ask for.”

Gabe looks at him for a moment. “Promise me, we won’t keep things from each other, anymore.”

Jesse nods, wiping his nose, slowly he’s coming back to himself. He’s sure that in the morning he’ll be happy, that the world didn’t implode on itself the way he always thought it would if he told Gabe the truth.

“Love you, kid. Every damn day you make me proud. Never doubt that. I’ll love you any which way. Like I said, never said it because I figured you knew. But we’re going to change that.”

Jesse nods, still not trusting his voice, feeling a relief wash over him. Gabe is proud of him, instead of ashamed. It’s the best thing he could ask for.

Gabe stands up, making his way out of the room. He hovers in the doorway.

“Kid, for what it’s worth, you were the best decision I ever made in my life.”

Jesse looks at him. “You got a medal of honor.”

Gabe shakes his head. “That’ll never beat the day you came _home_.”

 

* * *

 

Jack gets a text thirty minutes after he’s gotten home.

**You knew, didn’t you? The entire time, about Jesse.**

Jack instantly knows what this means. Jesse finally told Gabriel. He opts to be honest as possible about this.

_It wasn’t my secret to tell. I’m sorry._

**Thank you, for looking after him when I couldn’t, Jackie.**

Jack is in bed, but when he receives the message he opts to leave it. His eyes drift close, and the last thought he has before he finally succumbs to sleep is how _proud_ he is of Jesse.

 

In the morning Jesse and Jack work in companionable silence. Relaxed and happy, riding the high of the competition win, they work diligently and without issues. They don’t talk about what happened the night before. They both know that it’s happened, but Jesse feels lighter, doesn’t feel like he’s hiding a secret he can’t overcome anymore. That morning Jack gave him a meaningful stare, told him he was proud of him, and that was that. But Jack should know by now that things are always calmest before the storm, and today is no exception.

Some time around late morning Lena comes to the back with eyes wide in horror.

“Jack…” She says softly. When Jack turns to her he finds that Angela and Hana are standing behind her, seemingly all with looks of shared horror. They look like they’ve seen a ghost.

“What is it?” He says, immediately concerned. Lena hesitates, too long for the other girls’ comfort.

“It’s Vincent. He’s here.” Hana blurts out. They all know him. Have talked about the last great love of Jack’s life at length, how it made him feel, what happened, how it ended.

Jesse is looking between all of them, worried with eyebrows furrowed. “Vincent? Who’s that?”

Jack sighs, running a hand through hair that’s gone white with stress and age. “No one.”

Jesse looks at Lena, who rolls her eyes. “Why do I get the feeling he’s lyin’?”

Lena shakes her head. “Another time, Jesse. Jack, he wants to see you. He asked for you.”

He asked for me?

Vincent hasn’t asked for him in years. Nearly a decade now, if Jack’s memories are to be believed.

He sighs, taking off his apron, and somehow, walking to the front, it feels like a funeral procession. He still remembers the day Vincent left, too busy chasing a dream Jack didn’t share. It hurt then, but now, he’s not so sure. When he thinks of great loves, Gabriel is coming to mind. Vincent loved Jack, sure, but it hurt, when they were twenty and Jack thought they’d build a family together.

Jesse is following behind them silently, Jack can tell he’s watching this all unfold. Jack’s never told Jesse about this man, Vincent.

When he sees the back of Vincent’s head he’s struck with the image of the Indianapolis airport, driving from Bloomington, Indiana. He remembers the crying and good-byes and don’t-go’s. Vincent chased a dream, Jack moved to LA and opened a bakery. They’re different now, but somehow this feels like a scene from Jack’s life he’s experienced before. If he was younger, more hopeful, he might think this is a chance to do it over again, do it right. Maybe follow Vincent wherever he goes. But Jack looks back, finds himself staring at the teens who have become his patchwork family. Lena, who left England to be with Emily here, so in love they are that Jack has no doubt that they’ll make it. Angela, med student with a knack for helping everyone she’s ever met, so sweet and quiet, but enduring and strong, she reminds Jack of himself. Hana, who makes Jack remember not to take everything so seriously all the time. She was here in the beginning and Jack knows she’ll be around long after. And finally Jesse, the son Jack never had, but the boy who needs someone to tell him it’s okay to be himself, to be open and free. He makes cakes that put Jack to shame. There’s this beauty to his soul Jack is sure Gabriel saw in him, saw the moment that boy pointed those soft brown eyes in his direction.

Vincent’s hair is salt and pepper now, but all Jack can think about is the grey around Gabriel’s temple and in his beard and how much he’s dreamed of feeling it against his own clean shaven skin.

There’s so many things he could say to Vincent, has always regretted not saying. He opts for a simple one.

“Hello.”

Vincent turns around and Jack is hit with the daggers of love all over again. Those bright brown eyes haven’t dulled with age, he’s taller now, filled out better than he was in their youth. He has crows feet by his eyes, Jack remembers how much he loved to laugh. He’s different now, but just as beautiful as Jack remembers.

“Well hello stranger.” He says mischievously. He smiles at Jack, who is rooted in place.

“You’re a tough man to find, Jackie.”

Jackie.

It was the name Gabe gave him just the night before. Vincent used to call him that, but he hasn’t. Hasn’t called him anything or at any point, in years.

“Some people would take that as a sign that the person doesn’t want to be found.” He says it with a lump in his throat.

Vincent laughs, the bells of it land softly on Jack’s ears. He remembers the summers they lay on the hood of Jack’s parent’s shitty pick up truck, staring at the stars, when Vincent would laugh, so full of light. They were young then, so in love Jack imagined spending the rest of his life swallowed by Vincent’s light. But love changes, it morphs and Jack doesn’t recognize this laughter. He only knows a warm home, Jesse and Gabriel laughing. He only remembers Gabriel’s laugh, as they looked at Jesse, an inside joke Jack didn’t realize they shared until now.

“I see your sense of humor never went away. You always were the dry one, Jackie.” Vincent says it like a fond memory he’s kept in a bottle. Jack’s kept it all bottled up, never uncorks it unless it’s a lonely night.

Jack nods, but he can’t keep the words from coming out of his mouth. “Vincent, what are you doing here?”

Vincent sighs, looking over at the girls, and Jesse, who are still watching them. “Mind if we talk a bit more in private?”

The dining area is clear so they move to sit at one of the tables. Vincent looks around at the bakery in wonderment.

“You really did it, didn’t you? I knew you had it in you to do it. You always follow through with your plans.”

That hurts. Jack and Vincent had always planned to get married, have a family. Jack spent the better part of his military service dreaming of the day he’d discharge and be home for good. He remembers showing his platoon the photo of them, talked about the lovely husband he’d have at home, waiting for him. Now he doesn’t wait for Vincent to love him. Gabriel smiles openly at him, flirts over cups of coffee and Jesse. Jesse is a great boy with the purest heart Jack’s ever known.

“If I recall, my follow-through wasn’t really the issue.”

Vincent sighs, looking at him. “That’s why I’m here, Jackie.”

Jack raises an eyebrow, urging him to continue so he does.

“Jack, I made a mistake when I left. But I came back and I tried to find you, I tracked you down here. I want to make things right.”

When Jack was twenty-five, he imagines that he’d want nothing but to hear those words. He’d run back to Vincent instantly, like it never happened. But it’s been ten years. Jack’s almost forty and the distance and time have made him wiser. He knows that love changes, it can stay, but maybe it shouldn’t. It’s been ten years, but he’s still just as beautiful. And Jack can’t find it in himself to feel the love he knows he once held for this man.

“Make things right?” He says, shocked.

When he looks up he notices Gabriel standing outside. He’s staring, but he keeps walking, Jack knows he’s coming into the bakery, but his hazel eyes suddenly snap Jack back to reality.

Vincent reaches for his hand, they’re still as soft and slender, just as beautiful as Jack remembers, but all he can think about is Gabriel’s hands. His hands with a knife, or when he gripped Jack’s wrist and it felt like the world had tilted on its axis.

“It was a mistake to leave you, and I know I don’t have a right to this anymore, but I’m back for good, Jackie. I want to try and make this work, for good.”

Jack jerks his hand away, suddenly the fog lifts and he remembers who this is, what this is, what’s happened between them. Jack loved Vincent, but Jack has also moved on. First and foremost are all his employees, who he loves dearly, and Gabriel. Who against all the odds, has somehow wormed his way into Jack’s heart. Jack’s life is good, he doesn’t want to change it. Something in him that wishes that the love that vanished so quickly could be recovered. He remembers the good times, like a hypnotist this love distorts all of Jack’s memories and leaves him seeing only the good. He has to fight through it, remember every bad thing, all the reasons they were wrong for each other. They fought so much, they left for days on end, ignored each other when they were home, they seemed to be at odds in every respect. It’s these floodgates that open to remind Jack that while Vincent was one of the greatest loves of his life, he couldn’t have lasted. He doesn’t have a son with a heart of gold, or hazel eyes that smile at him every morning, cup of coffee offered as he sprints off to work. He’s not the same man, and neither is Jack.

“Vincent, I think you should go.” Vincent looks confused but Jack shakes his head.

He looks over to where Gabe is standing. He’s talking to Lena, slowly his face morphs into understanding. He looks resigned when he gives Jack a small smile, as though Jack would choose anyone but him. Jack looks at Vincent with resolve. “I’m not sure why you wanted to do this now, but I can’t. I don’t want to.”

Jack walks away, towards Gabriel. Whether he would have made this choice doesn’t matter. The universe made it the moment that Jesse McCree landed in his lap and his father followed. Gabe opens his arms, Jack immediately falls into them as though they’re the home Jack has spent his entire life looking for. He shudders, looks over to find Vincent looking at them with wide eyes.

“I didn’t know. Jackie, I’m so sorry.”

“That’s _enough_. You should go.”

Gabriel’s voice vibrates in his ears, baritone and firm. He’s heard this voice directed at Jesse when he leaves things laying around their house. Gabe is angry. Vincent just turns on his heels and walks out.

For a moment Jack lets himself be held. He needs to come down to earth, get his head on straight. The thing about first loves is that they don’t wait for you, but this one reached right out of Jack’s past and tried to pull him back. He smells Gabe’s cologne, feels his breathing, he’s counting to ten under his breath so quiet only Jack can hear. He feels like the world’s shifted, let him see Gabriel with more clarity. After a few moments he pulls away, Gabe giving him a look of concern before he gives Jack a wry smile.

“Good thing you closed for lunch, huh?”

Jack, despite everything, laughs. It seems that Gabriel just is, despite everything. Despite everything Jack loves him. He calms down, and that’s when he turns around to Lena, Hana, and Angela.

“Where’s Jesse?” He asks, eyebrows furrowed.

Hana just points to the kitchen.

He understands instantly. He moves to go into the kitchen, Gabriel tries to follow. He stops him just like he did all those months ago.

“No, I have to settle this.”

Gabe sits back and nods, silently.

When Jack makes his way back to the kitchen the tension in the room is palpable. Jack can tell that Jesse is upset about something. He’s slamming the dough, hard as hell. Jack sighs.

“Kid, what’s your problem?” He asks, but he voices it softly, not wanting to push the boy too hard.

“What’s my problem? What’s _my_ problem? You got some typa nerve, Jack!” Apparently Jack’s already pushed him, but he’s not sure how.

“What are you talking about, Jesse?” He asks, confused.

“You know _damn well_ what I’m talkin’ about!” Jesse yells, he stops the kneading, his hands are clenched, fists white knuckled.

Jack just stares. “No, I don’t. Jesse, what is it?”

“I thought you cared about Gabe? You know, I’ve been mighty patient, waitin’ around for y’all to stop pussyfootin’ but suddenly Vincent is here and you drop ma pa like a sack of potatoes? That just ain’t right, Jack.” He says with a glower, Jack has never had it directed at him, but he’s sure a lesser man would cower in fear.

“Jesse, I’m not dropping anyone. Where did you get that idea?”

Jesse’s glare deepens. “Like hell ya ain’t! I’ve seen Gabe get hurt too many times to know how this plays out. You ain’t any different from the rest, Jack.”

When Jack opens his mouth to speak Jesse forges on.

“They all come sayin the same thing! Always want the same damn thing. But, Jack, I thought you were _different_. I thought maybe this one time I could believe you when you say you wanna stay.”

Jack sighs, approaching with caution, he makes his way past Jesse while motioning for the kid to follow him. They end up on the deck in back reserved for workers. Jack sighs for a moment before thinking of where to start. Jesse is silent and fuming.

“Vincent and I were together for a long time. He left, I moved on. He came back today to get back together. I told him no. It’s as simple as that.”

Jesse’s glare lessened but he still looked put out. “Why’d ya give ‘im the time a day, Jack? Lena told me what happened. Ain’t no man worth that much trouble. Don’t you want us?”

Jack just sits back. Therein lies the crux of his problem. He wants them so badly it hurts. He wants a son who loves him and a partner who cooks meals like they’re art and ugly Christmas sweaters and trips to places Jack never wanted to visit until Gabriel convinced him with his smile that they could have the world. As always he tries to answer honestly.

“You ever missed something that was bad for you, but you wish you could have it one more time? Just to remember how good it used to feel even if it’ll kill you?”

Jesse nods softly and Jack shrugs. “It’s like that. I lost a lot of time with Vincent, we have a history. You don’t just forget that, Jesse. I care for you, and you dad, and I’d never do anything to hurt either one of you.”

“So you aren’t going back to Vincent?” Jesse asks, softly, doubtfully, like he expects Jack’s answer to be yes. He looks so much like Gabe when he does that. He also notices that they both resign themselves to letting someone take Jack away, as though he couldn’t possibly want to stay.

Jack chuckles. “No, Jesse,” he ruffles the kid’s hair, who gives a small smile, it’s a win, “besides, we have a competition to win.”

Jesse wrings his hands. “Sorry I blew up there, Jack. I just… I like it here, and pa is the happiest he’s been in awhile. I want things to stay as they are.”

Jack smiled at him. “It’s all right, Jesse. Nothing’s going to change, I promise.”

Jesse just gives him an understanding look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my hc is that Gabriel Reyes works at a Bon Appetit style editorial in LA and also is valid  
> also also mccree is a trans gay baker and you can pry that projected hc from my cold dead hands
> 
> Anyway if you wanna yell at me about the fanfic, have ideas, wanna just talk about this gay shit, you can find me on  twitter< /a>


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